Confessions of a Fugitive Mind
April 30, 2003
Can't Sleep
I can't sleep. The rational side of me keeps saying that there is nothing I can do about this until tomorrow, while the rest of my mind spins in frustrating little circles. I have been trying so hard to get a hold on my life - to work hard, remain on track, and make the right choices. And I thought I was getting it, really getting it. Things have been looking up for me, and even when they aren't (the website issues of the last two weeks and the programming problems) I've handled things in stride. Until this.
All of a sudden, I feel like I did a year ago, when I was so depressed I could barely function. Its been nearly three months since I've had a major bout and I was starting to get used to that good feeling. I hoped it might last a long time. But this has hit me hard - the way things do when I let myself down. I know life will go on, but right now, I just want it to stop for a while so I can feel bad. Then once it starts up, maybe this won't matter so much and I'll be OK again.
Posted by criminal at April 30, 2003 11:37 PM