Jelly Beans
You can tell a lot about a fellow's character by his way of eating jelly beans.
The goddess bowl I got for my birthday sits on a counter in my office and in the spring it contains a variety of jelly beans. My boss suggested that I create a site dedicated to those beans. I think her motivations are selfish: she really only wants me to make it because she can't remember what kinds we really liked or spit out after a couple nibbles. I like jelly beans, but I don't love them. In fact, I absolutely hate bad jelly beans. All the more reason to review the damned things. Maybe my boss won't buy ones that suck anymore. So, for now it's just another page about jelly beans.
Flaors: lemon, key lime, tangerine and pink grapefruit
Size: These beans are the perfect size, slightly larger than a Jelly Belly bean, but not so big that you feel like you're chewing forever.
Color: Bright and citrusy, but not too saturated
Texture: Crisp shell and smooth, chewy center
Overall Experience: These little beans have a bright, natural citrus flavor in their soft centers, which melt in your mouth. Each one tastes better than the last.
Rating: 4/5
Flavors: apple, blue raspberry, strawberry, orange, watermelon, grape
Size: these beans are on the large size (1.6g each), like the beans of our childhood
Color: dark and bright, more transparent than other modern beans
Texture: firm shell with gummy center
Overall Experience: These crunchy beans have an intensely sweet concentrated flavor, not unlike Kool-aid or Fruit Roll-ups. The high sugar content makes them disolve quickly in your mouth, but require chewing because of the firm shell.
Rating: 3/5
Flavors: peach, mixed berry, orange, strawberry, and watermelon
Size: a little larger than most modern jelly beans, these oblong beans are approximately 1.6 grams each
Color: bright pastels with an abundance of pink and purple shades
Texture: firm gummy center
Overal Experience: These beans are much bolder than the color suggests. The fruit flavors are a bit off, but that could be the smoothie part working its, uhh, magic. If you wanted to call it magic. Because they're really not all that magical. In fact, they're a little disappointing. Especially the watermelon smootie flavor. It's just wrong.
Rating: 2.5/5
Flavors: Red Raspberry, Mango Medley, Cotton Candy, Watermelon, Blueberry, Pina Colada, Strawberry-Kiwi, and Banana
Size: 1.25 grams, more ovoid than spherical, about the size of a black bean
Colors: pastels of course, although they are fairly saturated
Texture: relatively soft compared to most beans
Overall Experience: The first few beans were a major disappointment. The watermelon flavor is terrible, as is the raspberry. The flavors are like police artist sketches of the originals, muddled and unatural. My opinion was improved when I tasted the blueberry and strawberry-kiwi, both of which are strong and sweet. The pina colada is much heavier on pineapple than most and the cotton candy is passable. They're probably better off sticking to traditional candy flavors.
Rating: 2/5
Flavors: Cherry, Grape, Lemon, Orange, and Apple
Size: approximately the size and shape of a chick pea
Color: fully saturated and bright
Texture: firm shell covers a thin layer of sour powder and a soft, chewy center
Overall Experience The Smuckers beans aren't as sour as they claim to be. There is a nice tartness to them, but the center itself is so sweet that it overpowers the sour coating. As for the flavors, most taste a little fake. Especially the cherry, which is reminiscent of Luden's Cherry Throat Losenges.
Rating: 3/5
Flavors: traditional SweeTART flavors like orange, lemon, lime, cherry, grape, and berry
Size: 1-1.5g, approximately the size of a pinto bean
Color: pastels
Texture: gummy center surrounded by sweetart candy dust and a firm shell
Overall Experience: These beans are definately tart. Our bag included plenty of defective beans that used too much of the sweetart candy dust -- enough to make contort your face in a sour pucker. I almost wish they made bags of the just the defective ones. While the texture of the sweetart candy powder under the shell may be a little unsettling for some, the flavor it provides more than makes up for it. These beans are a nice departure from the ordinary.
Rating: 3.5/5
A Vacation for your Mouth
"Experience the world's biggest flavor in a tiny bean. Visit Teenee Beanee Delicious Destinations. Like tiny passports to flavor paradise, Delicious Destinations transports you to the most mouth-watering places on the earth. This thrilling collection of superpremium jellybeans features the planet's finest, most delectable handcrafted confections. Country Retreats -- The new old fashioned escape. Travel far from the crowded streets and discover a country hideaway that still makes classic desserts in their special homemade style. Enjoy a slice of fruit-filled heaven..."
Flavors: Strawberry Cheesecake, Peaches and Cream, Blueberry Cobbler, Apple Dumpling a la Mode, Banana Cream Pie
Size: 1.1g, roughly the size and shape of a black-eyed-pea
Color: muted, mottled, and slightly transparent shades to match the color of the corresponding dessert flavor
Texture: firm outer shell with a softer chewy center that dissolves quickly
Overall Experience: The Country Retreats pack a lot of flavor in a tiny bean. As soon as you open the pouch, the fantasic scents hit you like a wave of country desserts. Although the Strawberry Cheesecake is our favorite, the fresh peach aftertaste of the Peaches and Cream really impressed us. The Apple Dumpling was the only bean we weren't satisfied with: it used a little too much cinnamon and not enough cream and vanilla to convey the a la Mode side of the flavor.
Rating: 4.5 beans out of 5